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Dawn of a new Era!

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#1 Dawn of a new Era! on 2009-01-15, 22:28

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The fears that lye on my heart is not forever lost.
thus who is it to blame for my lost
only i can determine the outcome, for in which it dies'



My days are numbered
Kairi will not suffer, for the lost
only i will lose something important
And that is my soul and mind.





Contrusted Critism please?

#2 Re: Dawn of a new Era! on 2009-02-01, 16:57

Sora
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These just look like deep words to me, not a meaning of something.

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#3 Re: Dawn of a new Era! on 2009-02-25, 01:19

Xen
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The word "lost" was repeated several times.
Also, some minor grammar mistakes.

But yes, I kinda got where you were trying to get with that. Nice, small poem. :3

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#4 Re: Dawn of a new Era! on 2009-02-25, 21:59

risingfalls
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I personally liked it, using lost repeatly was smart, seeing how lost was the title of what you were saying.

#5 Re: Dawn of a new Era! on 2009-03-01, 10:30

Sora
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@risingfalls wrote:I personally liked it, using lost repeatly was smart, seeing how lost was the title of what you were saying.

Lost had nothing to do with Era, also there is no title as Lost.

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